Dating…oh the joys! As many of us singles are navigating through our 20’s, we are bound to face the inevitable question of, “why are you still single?” I believe that this societal pressure to find a mate has inadvertently pushed the idea that being single is unfavorable, so it’s easy for us to fall into that habitual line of thinking.
But aside from outside influences, there is the fundamental human need of companionship. The idea of being alone, can seem like an uncomfortable thought.
During the demise of my past relationship, the thought of being alone scared the hell out of me. I had shared every moment with that person; the good, the bad, and the ugly…how would I be able to manage all that life throws at us, without him?
The thought of starting over again, almost scared me into staying in an unfulfilling/toxic situation. And as ridiculous as that sounds, I know I am not the only one who has considered this. I’ve met countless of individuals who have admitted to staying with their partner for convenience and emotional security.
I mean, there are so many benefits of having a companion in life. A true partnership can enhance quality of life, giving more meaning to one’s existence. One of the best feelings in the world is knowing that you have someone you can rely on, someone with a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. But what happens when that partnership is no longer fulfilling or compatible?
I went into singlehood extremely reluctant and bitter. I loved being in a relationship. But I made a decision early on. I could a) feel bad for myself or b) use this time to discover who I am as an individual and figure out what gives my life meaning and purpose. I decided on the latter.
And it was in that moment that my perspective on singlehood shifted. This is where the quote, “Don’t be bitter, be better,” applied to my life. I began to embrace and enjoy my solitude, realizing that in doing so, I was more likely to make better choices about who I decided to spend my time with.
I now had the time and energy to invest solely on myself. Over a year later, I can honestly say that I have thoroughly enjoyed being single. I am a much more fulfilled person today, than I was a year ago. I think in order to sustain a healthy relationship with another person, you must first, create one with yourself.
I also think it is important to remember that we can also find companionship outside of romantic means; whether that may be in relationships with friends, family, pets, and most importantly, yourself. Learn to be your own bestfriend. Learn to love your time with yourself.
So next time someone asks you, “why are you still single?”… I say to embrace that freedom. Personally, I’ve responded with, “because I can be and it is actually a lot of fun.” IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE. In fact, I encourage it!
This is our time to be selfish. Make yourself a priority! Nurture yourself and your energy, explore your interest and passions.
Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe in soul mates and in time, we will all find our person – but until then, learn to fall in love with yourself!